Patience and Hope

It's been a hard day. My son's heart is breaking again. It has been broken before, but it hurts just as much the second or third time--one never becomes immune to the pain of a broken heart. My heart is breaking, too, for a mother's heart feels the pain of her child. I still have hope for him, but the familiarity of this situation makes me afraid. All he wants is someone to share his love with. Why is that so hard to find?

My beautiful Aunt Phyl, gave my daughter a treasured gift. It's a white blessing dress that she made many years ago hoping a grandchild of hers would wear it to be christened in. When that didn't happen, she graciously offered it to my daughter. I can hardly wait to see my grand baby in it. But for now, we must all be patient. All she and her husband want is a baby to love.

For now, my daughter and son both must put their dreams and righteous desires on hold and struggle through the unpleasant lessons of patience and hope. My prayer for both of them is that while they wait, they will feel comfort; while they wait they will find understanding to their questions of why.

Progress, slow and stead progress.

Dear Body,

It's me again. Five days a week since January 4, 2010 I have walk on a treadmill 30 or 40 minutes just like I said I would. I started out on a weeny level 2 then 3. Now I sweat it out on level 9 and 10. Just so you know, I have committed to exercise five days a week for the rest of my days. I'll give you a little break on Sunday and sometimes Saturday, but the rest of the week, you're mine!

Here's the weird thing--I'm starting to like it. I like the sweat, and I like the feeling that comes when I'm on a steep incline and don't think I can finish, and then I do. Then I am pretty sure I can do whatever I need to or want to. It's empowering.

As of today, I've lost 16 pounds. Sixteen hard-fought pounds. I'm in double digits. I picked up a 15 pound weight today and realized you're not carrying that around anymore. It must feel like such a relief. I'm very happy with myself. And I'm happy with you, too. You seem to be getting on board with me this time. No telling where we can go together.

The Bluge Battle

Dear Body,
I started again on January 4. As you know, I always start again in January. Something about January just gives me a spirit of change. So five days a week since January 4th, I've been at Anytime Fitness exercising. I know you don't especially like the idea. You seem to like being fat. You've been that way my whole life. You don't like it when I come along and try to change you. But I'm doing it anyway. I've let you have your way for all these years, and now I'm fighting back. I'm in charge now. And I'm winning, too.

I've been tracking your weight daily on an online chart. You're putting up a good fight. Rather than the smooth sloping downward line I was hoping for, it looks like a heart monitor hooked up to someone having a heart attack. But in spite of all the ups and downs, it's on a downhill slope. Yeah, it's heading down. You're getting smaller ounce by ounce, day by day.

Please don't think that because I'm trying to lose half of you, I don't love you. Just the opposite is true. By losing half of you I can love what's left even more. So please, work with me. Let's get along. If we work all year, then when next January rolls around, we won't need to start again, but just keep going. It will be much easier that way for both of us.

Love,

Teresa

Hawaii 2010

The Maui Girls have returned yet again from Hawaii. This is our third trip together and my fourth trip to Hawaii. I never tire of its beauty or of how refreshed I feel when I return. My face and back are sunburned inspite of a generous slathering of SPF30 everytime I was at the beach, but now that I'm back, it's pretty cool to be one of the few people in Springville with a tan!

One of my favorite activities was going to church. A large part of the congregation in sacrament meeting with Americans visiting the island. But during Sunday School and Relief Society, I got to enjoy the wonderful spirit of the Polynesians. I've always said I didn't think I could live on an island, but after going to church there, I think I could do it. The lessons were basic but so full of pure testimony. Relief Society was held in the cultural hall. The teacher held a portable mic and had a podium and a chalkboard to teach with. No table cloth, no centerpiece, very minimal visual aids, but the power of her lesson was so strong because she taught with the spirit and testimony of her topic. I was so well fed.

Another thing I tried to do was enjoy the beauties of the earth. In Hawaii it isn't hard to do, believe me. In every direction there is something beautiful. But I tried to notice more than could be seen in a quick glance. I watched a spider spin an intricate and beautiful web. Each day it got larger and larger. It was an architectural masterpiece I watched the sand as the waves retreated. Thousands of small holes appeared with bubbles coming out. One day I sat in a tide pool and watched all the little fish and such do their thing. It's all stuff one might miss if you only look at the ocean. Not only were the fish beautiful, but the ocean floor when I snorkeled was a pattern of beauty, too. I tried to stay in one spot and watch the sand and the affect the waves had it. Of course I watched the whales every morning and every night. I can never get enough of their breaching and spouting. One of the most beautiful things I saw was a grandma making sand castles for her little grandson.She was experiencing pure joy and so was he. I'm so grateful I had another opportunity to be grateful for God's creations, large and small.

Happy Anniversary, Lynzy and Keith

My only daughter, beautiful Lynzy, and her handsome husband, Keith, celebrated their one year wedding anniversary on January 2, 2010. Lynzy and Keith, have made being married look easy. Their love nest is very Lynzy-esk with creativity in every corner, perfect in every way, except the temperature. We're so happy they live close so we get to see them often. Happy Anniversary to you both, and many, many more. I hope your cake was yummy.